


Treasure Trove of Secrets

by Yotsubadancesintherain5



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yotsubadancesintherain5/pseuds/Yotsubadancesintherain5
Summary: Eyeball's violence ends in a different way.





	Treasure Trove of Secrets

The diminutive rose quartz was easy to overcome. Eyeball raised the improvised weapon as Steven attempted to fight her. She almost brought it down before a sudden flash of light came from the accursed gem.

Eyeball opened her eye to see Steven unconscious and an imposing woman beside him. The bubble had gotten bigger to accommodate her.

“Pink Diamond?!” Eyeball sputtered. “My Diamond, how can this be-“

“Oh, by the Earth and stars!” Pink Diamond exclaimed, exasperated. “I was so sure I could assume the form of Rose Quartz…”

“My Diamond! Do not tell me...”

“Ah, yes. This is the entire truth. I am Rose Quartz,” Pink Diamond said. “And now for three more surprises.”

She lifted up a finger. “Yellow is, in fact, two miniature giraffes in a trench coat.”

“Blue tried to make stuffed toys of me to capitalize on my popularity,” Pink Diamond said, as she lifted up a second finger. “But it was too popular, so it was a limited edition special. Pearl has all of them hidden somewhere and Garnet doesn’t want to know where.”

“And,” Pink Diamond said with her third finger up, “White has achieved the art of standing so still that she becomes invisible.”

She inspected Eyeball’s face.

“But one of these statements is a lie.”

“Why?” Eyeball asked when she found her voice. “Why would you tell me this?”

“No one will ever believe you.” Pink Diamond smiled, and it looked strained. “That should be enough punishment for trying to kill my son.”

And with that she was gone. Steven awoke and saw Eyeball staring at nothing, slack-jawed.

“What happened? Are you okay, Eyeball?”

She didn’t respond at all. Steven sang to her until the Crystal Gems found and picked them up. Nobody could get any responses out of Eyeball so until she was ready to talk she was placed on the couch; like a surprised, red throw pillow.


End file.
